This is by far one of my favorite prayers from the Valley of Vision collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions, and this has been a prayer that I have gone back to over and over again as I've prayed over the last four years! As is the case with all of the prayers in this collection, it articulates a prayer more elequent than anything I could come up with on my own, and yet it expresses perfectly my heart's desires to the Lord. It seems fitting to open with this:
"Service and Equipment"
Thou God of my end,
Thou hast given me a fixed disposition
to go forth and spend my life for thee;
If it be thy will let me proceed in it;
if not, then revoke my intentions.
All I want in life is such circumstances
as may best enable me to serve thee in the world;
To this end I leave all my concerns in thy hand,
but let me not be discouraged,
for this hinders my spiritual fervency;
Enable me to undertake some task for thee,
for this refreshes and animates my soul,
so that I could endure all hardships and labours,
and willingly suffer for thy name.
But, O what a death it is to strive and labour,
to be always in a hurry and yet do nothing!
Alas, time flies and I am of little use.
O that I could be a flame of fire in thy service,
always burning out in one continual blaze.
Fit me for singular usefulness in this world.
Fit me to exult in distresses of every kind
if they but promote the advancement of thy kingdom.
Fit me to quit all hopes of the world's friendship,
and give me a deeper sense of my sinfulness.
Fit me to accept as just desert from thee
any trial that may befall me.
Fit me to be totally resigned to the denial of pleasures I desire,
and to be content to spend my time with thee.
Fit me to pray with a sense of the joy of divine communion,
to find all times happy seasons to my soul,
to see my own nothingness,
and wonder that I am allowed to serve thee.
Fit me to enter the blessed world where no unclean thing is,
and to know thee with me always.
"Service and Equipment"
Thou God of my end,
Thou hast given me a fixed disposition
to go forth and spend my life for thee;
If it be thy will let me proceed in it;
if not, then revoke my intentions.
All I want in life is such circumstances
as may best enable me to serve thee in the world;
To this end I leave all my concerns in thy hand,
but let me not be discouraged,
for this hinders my spiritual fervency;
Enable me to undertake some task for thee,
for this refreshes and animates my soul,
so that I could endure all hardships and labours,
and willingly suffer for thy name.
But, O what a death it is to strive and labour,
to be always in a hurry and yet do nothing!
Alas, time flies and I am of little use.
O that I could be a flame of fire in thy service,
always burning out in one continual blaze.
Fit me for singular usefulness in this world.
Fit me to exult in distresses of every kind
if they but promote the advancement of thy kingdom.
Fit me to quit all hopes of the world's friendship,
and give me a deeper sense of my sinfulness.
Fit me to accept as just desert from thee
any trial that may befall me.
Fit me to be totally resigned to the denial of pleasures I desire,
and to be content to spend my time with thee.
Fit me to pray with a sense of the joy of divine communion,
to find all times happy seasons to my soul,
to see my own nothingness,
and wonder that I am allowed to serve thee.
Fit me to enter the blessed world where no unclean thing is,
and to know thee with me always.
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